You Are Good Enough!!!

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It is human to make mistakes yet women are often unforgiving of themselves if they don’t succeed.

Here are some ways to give yourself a break and allow yourself to make mistakes and not overextend yourself.

1.  Don’t judge yourself more harshly than you would judge others.

  • If you feel like a failure because no one wants to eat your specially prepared tuna casserole, don’t judge yourself.  Blame it on the recipe or their tastes.  Or better yet, let them cook – you wouldn’t judge their efforts harshly.

2.  Don’t be afraid to say no when you are asked to take on projects when you are too busy to handle them.

  • Some women fall into the trap of trying to please everyone when they are already spread too thin.  Once people see you as a “yes, I’ll do it” person, you may find you are always in quicksand.  Be honest when you can’t.  Stand Firm.

3.  Accept yourself how you are.

  • Stop trying to be the “perfect” weight or have the “ideal” look.  Healthy eating and exercise make sense as does   enjoying finding your favorite styles.  Many women become obsessed with losing weight and think looking a certain way will make them happy.  Accepting yourself how you are is the first step towards happiness.

4.  Don’t think it’s your fault if your boss yells at you or if someone doesn’t like you.

  • Women are often quick to blame themselves and take other people’s criticism personally whereas men blame others or the situation.  Your boss or someone else may be unfair or be taking things out on you because of problems in their own life.  Not everyone is going to like you and that’s fine.

5.  Be proud of your accomplishments even if others don’t acknowledge them.

  • Women’s efforts are often overlooked.  Stay-at-home moms raise children, support their partners, clean and support programs at the schools and after-school yet their contribution is often seen as minimal.  Women work in a wage earning job and often still take on the full responsibilities of raising their children.  We can begin by being proud of ourselves and then ask others to be proud or offer their assistance.

This post is also listed in www.myculturemagazine.com 

I get by with a little help from my friends…

mnn2SRkSome stress is a part of life and can even motivate us to do our best – like the rush you get before a show or a presentation at work.  But when stress reaches high levels it is dangerous to our health and can paralyze us from making positive changes in our lives.

So here’s my advice for combating stress. Don’t go it alone. Reach out to your female friends for love, support and just plain fun.  It’s easy for me to correlate times in my life when I was happier and less stressed with the quality and/or quantity of my female friends.  As a girl, I had a best friend for years named Lizzie and that meant I always had someone to sit with at lunch or to go ice-skating with or to just watch The Brady Bunch.  Not to mention sleepovers – if those aren’t the cat’s pajamas, I don’t know what is.

I also remember the emptiness I felt the first year at Connecticut College because I had no friends, or how depressing it was to be isolated in my early years as a Stay-at-home Mom. Friends are that important.

There is even evidence that we live longer when we have strong female friendships. In this article on women’s friendships ,  they site research in the area of friendships such as how in The Tending Instinct, Shelly Taylor found women’s relationships and need for community is based in our DNA and can also be seen by studying animals.

A study at UCLA School of Medicine discovered that when we’re with our female friends, we emit a “feel good” hormone called oxytocin that helps us reduce everyday stress.

A study by Dove indicated that 70% of women feel prettier because of their relationships with female friends. This is critical to understanding how self-image develops in girls and women.

 Most importantly, Haupart states that, Women without strong social ties risk health issues equivalent to being overweight or a smoker – it’s that serious.”

Unfortunately, with our fast-paced digital society, women’s friendships are on the decline while stress levels in women are in the increase.  Try to reconnect with friends in your life.  Be open to new friendships. 

I have a friend from Italy and she makes green tea in a pot on a tray with china cups and puts out light flakey buttery cookies. It’s a welcome and refreshing approach to catching up with a friend.

So meet a friend for tea, to get your nails done, or see a movie.  I have learned that above all one thing is clear:  We Need Each Other.

This article is also published in the Wellness section of myCulturemagazine